Photography by Samuel Engelking

He didn’t belong in this room. His palms were slick with sweat. He’d have bolted out the door if his feet didn’t feel like they were encased in a thousand pounds of concrete.

His classmates were painters, illustrators, and printmakers. Leo Chan was “a computer guy.” When he finished, the room went silent. Everyone stared at their professor.

The professor looked at Leo’s work. Studied it. Stood up. Moved closer to it. Took it in his hands. Held it closer to examine the details. Then tore it up.

Not metaphorically with a blistering verbal critique. But literally. Into tiny shards of paper that cascaded onto the studio floor.

“I died inside,” Leo recalls. “I almost started bawling.”

The silence of his commute home couldn’t drown out the noise inside his own head. The inner critic screaming at him that he didn’t belong. That he should give up. That he was a fraud.